Author Tifani Clark: The REAL first book I ever wrote...

Today is Throwback Thursday. I don't always participate in this, but after a recent trip to my parent's house, it has to be done. Why, you ask? Because. I brought back the first book I ever wrote.

[Wait! Stop the show! I thought Shadow of a Life was your first book?]

Nope.

Now, get a tissue ready because after you see this cover, you'll need to wipe away tears. Tears of laughter, that is. (At least, that's what my kids needed to do when they read it. I think one of them literally ROFL'd.)

Here's the cover:

That's some spectacular art work right there!

You might look at it and think I wrote it when I was five.

Nope. Wrong again.

That 'thar book was written when I was in junior high. [Hides head in shame.] Our local library offered a class for budding writers and I jumped all over it. (The class, not the library ... although I have been kicked out of libraries before for inappropriate behavior. I started writing about one experience in a book, but I'll save that story for another post.)

Here's a look inside the book:

Back to the class at the library ... After learning how to draw masterpieces such as those I've already shown, we typed up our stories using a typewriter. Yes, you read that correctly. We used typewriters. To those of you who are thinking: "You don't look more than 20 years old! How do you know what a typewriter is?" I say thanks for the flattery. For those of you who have been born in this century, just Google typewriter and you'll understand what it is. (Think prehistoric computer.)

Here's another page of the book:

After we had our artsy masterpieces and carefully typed pages finished, we bound them together with string, cardboard, and the plastic the library uses as book covers. It must have worked because my book is still together all these years later. Of course, that might be due to the fact that the cover never gets opened.

Here are the next pages of masterpieces:

Beautiful isn't it?

You're probably wondering if I learned anything important in the library-writing-class-of-which-I-can't-remember-the-technical-name. And the answer is . . . yes. I did learn something. And I've remembered it for 20+ (cough, cough) years.

I've decided to share what I learned with you today, in case you are an aspiring (or inspiring) artist or author. Here's what I learned:

.......Drumroll......

RHONDA C. CAN MAKE HER EYES GLEAK!

Yep. Weeks of attending a class and all I can remember is that one of the girls in the class could make eye juice shoot out of her eyes. And sometimes it did it on it's own and she had to stop what she was doing to wipe it off her glasses. Pretty cool, huh?

Here's the next page:

One thing about me (that has nothing to do with the rest of this post) is that I am a total morning person and I always have been. No matter what time I go to sleep, I wake up at the same time. If I'm stressed about something, I wake up even earlier no matter how late I went to bed. I wrote this post at 5:30 in the morning, after lying awake in my bed for half an hour, wondering how early I dared run on the treadmill. (I wouldn't want my family to hate me. When this woman runs, it shakes the whole house.)

Here's another page:

Anyway, my point is, if this post makes absolutely no sense, blame it on the fact that I'm hiding under my blankets with the laptop, trying not to let the light bother my husband too much.

And the final page!